Mr. Kolawole Oyekunle, who hails from Lagelu Local Government Area,
Ibadan, Oyo State, lost his wife, Taiwo Busayo Dorcas durring the
recruitment stampede.
Intermittently, as he fought back tears, he narrated how he tried
without success to persuade his wife not to participate in the
recruitment on seeing the large crowd when he dropped her off at the
stadium. The next time he saw her, she was already cold and stiff in the
morgue among the many unidentified corpses at the National Hospital’s
mortuary.
Before spotting the body of his late wife, he had gone round almost
all the hospitals in Abuja searching for her among the living till few
minutes to 4.00am roughly 48 hours after dropping her off at the venue.
After he had a flat tyre, he had to call off the search to continue the next day.
On identifying the remains of his wife following the pressures from
concerned persons that he should check the mortuary, he could not
believe that his joy was gone forever with two months pregnancy after
five years of fruitless search for a child.
A fateful day
I brought my wife to the Stadium few minutes before 7.00am. But when I
saw the crowd, I told my wife I was not comfortable with the number of
people there.
I pleaded with her to forget the project, and go back home. But most
men know it’s always very difficult to convince women against their
decision. She however assured and reassured me that she would be okay
and that nothing will happen to her.
When I noticed that she was not yielding to my pressure not to
participate and my appeal to her to change her dress inside my car fell
on deaf ears, I left and wished her well. Around 10.00am, I called her
cell phone to know what was going on, repeatedly, I got the response
that her number was switched off.
Thinking that it was network problem, I decided to wait till around
6.00pm. when her line finally came alive. A man picked the call and told
me that the owner was among those injured during the stampede at the
entrance of the stadium that morning.
I became so confused and just managed to ask the man where I could
meet him and he told me he was in Nyanya. He told me to come if I could
but I met a heavy traffic and decided to return home to check if my wife
had returned and forget about the phone.
When I arrived home, I searched everywhere hoping to see her. I
called her repeatedly thinking that she was deliberately hiding as we
did sometimes. I became so troubled that I could not resist the
discomfort and signal that something must have gone wrong.
I rushed back to the stadium to know if there were people still there
taking the exam. I met only the security men and inquired from them
about my wife but they told me about the tragic stampede, informing that
while some people died, many others were hospitalised. They directed me
to National Hospital.
Immediately, I headed to the hospital, entered the accident and
emergency unit to make inquiry. They directed me to the communications
department where they gave me a list of about 43 names of the victims
brought to the hospital, but when I went through it, I could not find
the name of my wife.
They directed me to other hospitals like the Garki General Hospital
and Wuse General Hospital where the rest of victims were taken to. The
situation was the same at both hospitals because they told me either
that she was not among the 13 victims brought there or among those
already discharged. They still directed me to the Maitama Hospital and
from there, I was asked to check Asokoro General Hospital.
I was heading to Asokoro when my car had a flat tyre and I just
managed to drive the car back home. By then it was too late to get help
anywhere. I rested for just two to three hours before leaving the house
for Asokoro Hospital, yet there was no clue on where I could see my
wife.
From Asokoro, I was directed to go back to National Hospital to be
sure there was no mix up in the list I saw earlier. I had to even show
them her picture but they still told me they did not see that face. They
took me round the wards in search of her without any success. I saw one
of the victims with POP and even wished it was my wife.
When the situation became so hopeless, one of the health workers
persuaded me to summon courage and check at the mortuary. I was
initially reluctant because they told me that the list contained both
the survivors and the dead. But, since my previous checks had been
fruitless, I had to take the last option and assure myself of what the
situation was, especially when they told me there was an unclaimed
corpse of a woman, then it dawned on me that I had been searching for my
wife at the wrong places.
When I saw her corpse, I broke down and wept like a baby. I was
terribly devastated that my legs could not support me . It took the
intervention of the mortuary attendant who told me to be man enough to
face the challenges of widowerhood. I cried bitterly because I didn’t
know what to tell her parents and relatives about what happened. How do I
explain to them that I took their child close to her grave unknowingly?
They had been calling to inquire about her that night; but how do I
explain to them that I succeeded in spotting the corpse of the woman I
took to the stadium to write exam?
It was really difficult for me to come to the reality that I could
only see the corpse of my wife I had dropped at the stadium 24 hours
earlier.
It was more painful that she left me just like that without a word of
goodbye. How can I take my wife close to her grave unknowingly?
Certainly, her death is a terrible loss and setback to me because I
don’t know where to start from. At this point, he broke down tears.
Five years together
We had been married for five years before her death. The pain is why
her death should come now when she was carrying two months pregnancy
after waiting for five years. She was not the sick type and I cannot
remember taking her to the hospital because of illness since we got
married. It possible I would have felt better if we had a child already
so I can sustain her memory through the child; but the whole episode
endless without anything to hold on to
Her family
As I said, it was difficult to narrate to them what happened. But it
seemed they had premonition of her death because immediately I confirm
her death, telephone calls stated coming relentlessly from almost all of
them.
I have to bury her in Abuja here because of certain circumstances.
Immediately I confirmed her death to the eldest member of the family,
they held a family meeting and directed me to bury her in Abuja
considering the circumstances of her death.
They said if I bring her corpse home for burial at her age, it would
bring more disasters to the family especially as her mother is still
alive. They warned that burying her at home would open the floodgate of
more deaths. So they gave me the authority to bury her in Abuja. The
nature of the death was so bad that even her elder sisters could not see
her corpse for fear of bringing disaster to the family and villagers.
Missing her
I am yet to come to terms with the reality that I have become a
widower at my age. My wife died at 30. I will miss her intelligence
because she was a very brilliant lady. She graduated with Upper Credit
from the Osun State Polytechnic.
Above all, the world has really collapsed on my head. My joy and
happiness are gone. Since her death, I have been struggling to cope with
her absence at home. Most times, I would still return home, hoping to
get the same respectful reception of ‘welcome sir’ I have become used
to.
She was a very peaceful lady and even our neighbours can confirm that
she never had rough encounter with anybody even though we lived in a
private and secluded apartment. Honestly, the home is becoming very
boring and frightening. My pillar of support is gone even though I still
feel her presence each time I am at home.
Mortuary hurdles
After finding the body, the hospital put me through rigours and pains
to take her body. They first directed me to the Wuye Division of the
Nigeria Police. I laid my complaint to them but they gave me one of them
to take me to the Garki Division. They directed me to return there the
next day. They acted like being very insensitive to the trauma I was
passing through for losing my wife.
I had to write a statement on what happened to prove that she was
actually my wife. They made several inquiries including calling my
sister in-law in the village to confirm my claims. The clearance from
the police took me two days before they accompanied me to the National
Hospital with police report to release the corpse to me.
Before taking away the corpse, I had requested from the hospital to
give me the death certificate as it is normally done, but they
surprisingly told me that the hospital does not issue such. We dragged
the issue for hours, and at last I got nothing.
They came with all manner of reasons to deny me the death
certificate. The public relations unit of the hospital had to confirm my
claim by calling my wife’s family. It has been more than two weeks, yet
they have not had a change of mind to issue me the death certificate.
My appeal to the government as palliative is to prevail on the
hospital to issue me the death certificate. It wont bring back my wife,
but that would be an evidence for the records.
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